I'm really into tea right now.

Here's another list: Things that I should eat more/less of:

1. No white bread
2. Cut back on pasta and other white flour things
3. Make it a point to eat at least one meal a day without cheese
4. Organic peanut butter instead of Jiffy
5. Drink a glass of water before every meal
6. Explore different kinds of lunch meats
7. I have a weakness in Sour Patch Kids -- no more of that!
8. Try brown rice instead of white rice
9. Try to not order the fries with the burger
10. More soy milk -- I'm female and Asian and lactose intolerant, I should try and put off osteoporosis for as long as I can
    

emperor tomato ketchup

we like lists. lists are fun. today's list is:

FOOD-RELATED THINGS MIKEY INTENDS TO ACCOMPLISH BEFORE THE END OF CALENDAR 2008:

1. find a few varieties of sushi I really like
2. figure out how to like pesto
3. learn to like ham again
4. figure out how to like balsamic vinaigrette, as well
5. find a few soups I really dig (I'M NOT A SOUP GUY BUT SINCE WE'RE HERE)
6. learn to like cilantro wait, no, fuck those soapy leaves
7. take another shot at thai
8. learn the actual capacity of my stomach, and how that differs from perceived capacity
9. add at least one more item to this list

this post about picking apples really needs a cute title

what do you do when you're craving tastydelicious apples?

YOU GO APPLE PICKING, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO.

first, though, you pass a bunch of dunkin' donuts and miss your turn somewhere in new jersey and consult the map. before you get lost, you pass the plant detective. then you turn around, pass some dunkin' donuts again, and get back on track. when you get to the apple farm, you pay a dollar and get a bag for twenty-five cents. (before you exit your vehicle, you finish eating lunch and a brownie. you save room for apples, though.)

you eat lots of apples to ensure that a particular tree is, indeed, producing tastydelicious apples. it's just good quality control.




the apple trees are in rows and labeled by kind. you find certain kinds seem to be more popular than others, so you gotta knock down apples from waaaaaaay above-like with other apples. some guy complains that all the apples "taste awful". you dismiss him as being a giant douchebag.

before you leave, you check out the pumpkin patch.




and try to pick up a huge pumpkin in a show of strength.




but soon your strength is sapped, and the pumpkin triumphs.




filling up your apple bag, you go to the weighing/checkout barn and learn that the apple farm's ATM was stolen yesterday. who the fuck does that? wondering if there's a roving gang of apple farm cash machine thieves out there somewhere, you contemplate how easy it would be to steal one of the little pumpkins from the front of the apple farm. you figure the ATM theives probably thought the same thing.

the drive home takes you past a sign marked "diner: a restaurant". is it a place to eat, or a documentary film? you don't have time to stop and find out: you've got apples to get home.